It’s Monday, the 2nd and there’s no better time to get serious in the eating department, I have the exercise one down fairly well. I’ve managed to drop a few lbs since Christmas but I could be further ahead if I could stay away from all the high-carb snacks at night. Nevertheless, I miss my old body and I am looking forward to bringing it back. I just need to be responsible with my food choices and eat more fruit and veggies when I am hungry at night.

I hope that if I can account for my actions everyday that it’ll help me keep on track–I’ve started and stopped this game plan more than a few times since college–and now that I have a long term goal of being as healthy as possible before getting KTFU, I think I can actually adhere to the path to a healthier me…I just hope DH can keep up with me because when I am fit I am also more like a guy than ever…. those were days and I hope can I can bring them back for good.

M brought R over with him and it was really cute to see them together. I have been interested to see how they would be together and honestly it looked as if they are official though I am not quite sure if they are or aren’t. She referred to her “ex” a lot and I am wondering if she’s finally canned the out of state dude in favor of M–and it does appear that way–though you can never be sure. No matter what, they do appear to really like each other and they are good for each other it seems. I hope it works out for them, I could get use to hanging out with the another couple like them, at least while we can.

DH and I talked about trying to make an effort to go out and see our friends in an atmosphere other than our living room esp. when the possibilities of kids is most likely sooner rather than later at this point. Hopefully we can actually stick to that plan–I wish I wasn’t so tired all the time but it’s hard not to be with all the physical work I accomplish during the day–by the time I get home I just want to relax and not move again–esp. on Saturday nights. But, I will try to make an effort so long as DH can too.

As for my BFF who came down–I can’t pretend that I wasn’t a little bit disappointed though you’d think by now I’d know better than to be. All she did was complain that she wasn’t downtown and how much fun it’d be if she were there. I didn’t stop her, she made the choice to come over. We’re never entertaining enough for her so I don’t know why she bothers–why I bother. I think it comes down to the fact that Dh and I are in a different place and though our other friends are still essentially single–they are all mature and not at all into debauchery involving blacking out and acting like an ass. She however, is and really gauges whether or not she’s having fun by how much she does, or doesn’t, remember. I am sorry, I am over it yet I can’t help but think that it was a disappointing night for her. I guess I can’t worry about it…it’s her fault if she didn’t have fun, not mine.

Despite her crappy attitude, I’d say all and all we had a good time and a fun night.

Monday we celebrated our 1st year and while I was more than a little bent out of shape because our original plans fell through–the weekend was nothing short of wonderful.

Saturday after I got home he greeted me with flowers and wished me a happy anniversary weekend. Saturday night we met my parents at Franco’s for dinner and so we could pick up our frozen cake.

Sunday we did as little as possible–I used the alone time I had while he was at Tang Soo Do testing to run out and purchase him a wireless router and e-card for his gaming systems. I also bought him a gift card to use towards a game or something–which I am sure will come in handy.

Monday was our actual anniversary and it felt so good to have the time off. We exchanged gifts in the morning then went and bought groceries and ran some errands. We were due at dinner at 5:30 and he kept it a secret until we were almost there. He took me to the Le Mont which was beyond delicious and beautiful. We arrived a little early so we took the time to take some picture and admire the view from Mt. Washington. Our dinner was timed perfectly–we watched the sun set over the city then watched as it gradually came to life through lights. After a few drinks and a fantastic dinner, we headed home where we managed to share a piece of the frozen (yet still surprisingly ok tasting) cake.

Tuesday was just a bonus day for us which we spent entertaining ourselves, walking the dogs and voting. We then had friends over for a drink and watched the election results.

Today, it’s back to real life and that’s ok. Normally I’d be sulking about this but I am not. I woke up early and worked out–I think that really helped. It jump started my day and I had plenty of time to get ready and arrive at work early. I was a dreading this day due to physical inventory but taking a walk outside this AM after I arrived at work proved that it shouldn’t be too painful of an experience.

I am a little sad I had to make up where I was in re: to my trainer, but sorry, husband comes first. I’ll be back up there tonight and I am glad–I am anxious to see my horse and spend sometime riding. Usually this would make me feel sad, however I’ve decided to take a good friend’s advice and look on the bright side of things.

The one thing that I am most grateful for is that I always come back home to Dh. He’s always there for me and loves me no matter what. I feel so thankful and fortunate to have somebody like him in my life. I think I lost sight of that for a while and got  myself completely wrapped up in  my mind of how things should be and forgetting to appreciate what I have and how things are not as I wish them to be.

The farm is undoubtedly beautiful and the horse undoubtedly of sound mind and body, except as a 4 yr old you could roll a quarter from his butt to this withers, a major red flag for a dressage prospect. His 2 yr old sister and 3 yr old brother were wonderfully even, this youngster appeared to get the short end of the stick. Nevertheless, he had a lovely active trot and very nicely balanced canter. He was very calm and tried to understand everything you asked.

The one thing that left me with a sour taste in my mouth was how badly the breeder of the horse bashed my own who is also a son of her stallion but NOT one of her home breds. She called him cow hocked–one of the worst conditions you could ask for in a horse. My horse who is in training with somebody far more experienced than their trainer would have NEVER allowed me to buy a horse with this kind of condition and it was ridiculous for that fat miserable person to even open her mouth. It literally left both of us with a very bad taste in our mouth and when we left we were both laughing that they would even try and market a down hill horse as a dressage prospect.

If nothing else, it was a nice drive and it was nice to see LS again. In the long run though we’ll keep looking and plan for my  horse to come live with my mom once I am KTFU which works great for me–I get to keep my horse and she gets to have the Morgan gelding she wanted–even if he is cow hocked, haha.

Waiting for myself to O

Waiting for DH to sign his last official new job document.

Waiting for lunch.

Waiting for the end of the day.

Waiting for the weekend.

Waiting for a friend’s wedding next week.

Waiting to finally meet some of my friends IRL.

Waiting for a possible lunch date tomorrow.

Waiting for Halloween.

Waiting for our anniversary.

Waiting for a vacation.

What a shame I am horrid at waiting.

So the more Mr. Darcy I can get my hands on for now the better–hopefully J never catches on–then again, I wonder if he’d be willing to wear breeches and boots?

I’ve always been a fan of reproductive health and all the goodies that go into being a sexually healthy person so this is right up my alley. After 9 yrs I think I’ve actually found a BC method that has the interaction I like and the knowledge that’s imperative to my overall health and obviously when we TTC later on this yr.

Speaking of which–I was a little peeved that his sister told us they planned to try and have a baby next year. This will be baby number 2. I don’t why it bugs me but  I really rather be the only one PG in the family when I am and I def. don’t need to be sharing the experience with her. Her first pregnancy was difficult enough to stomach let along enduring the second coming of another perfect child while carrying around our own devil spawn. The words of his step mother still ring in my ears–”you’re kid will never be as important or as special as M.” Le Sigh–ppl should really stop and think before they open their mouths.

Nevertheless, I am excited to start a new and see how this cycle plays out–it’s really neat to have such an interactive part in my health and having his support and even his interest is so exciting–it’s really heart warming and I am having one of those fuzzy feelings. Perhaps it was that soup  I ate for lunch?

I am glad I found the TCOYF forum–I thought I’d be able to tough out the BTOB and the GP boards but those girls chapped my ass more than the UDBB and that’s saying a lot. It wasn’t even peronal attacks made by them but the way they treated everyone and felt the need to chime into everything–I didn’t honestly care about ppls coworkers and their pants not fitting. I am glad to have somewhere that’s more about TTC and charting. /rant.

Anyway, I am going to try and put this all on the back burner until next week–I am going to try and hold off testing until then anyway. I am crampy mainly on the left side vs. the right side when I first O’d. I don’t know if that means anything but it’s at least a sign that somethings going on! It’s weird to feel all this again after so many years on BCPs and missing out on the “curse” and all it’s “fun.” Nevertheless, i am glad not to be depending on it to be honest.

***

Off BR topics–DH had a job offer today for something that’s NOT what he’s doing now . I think other than the commute he’d  be more willing to take the leap–I know he’s not looking forward to leaving S. and the other guys he works with but I know he’ll be happier in the long run. If his BIL would get off his ass and email him the opening with his company he thinks DH would be “perfect” for  he could get that question mark out of the way and decide what he wants to do with this job offer. I do hope he takes it so he doesn’t have to continue to loath everyday.

A Half hour more to go! I am so ready to get out of here and started with the weekend!

I’ve given up on the nest boards-I don’t want anything to do with those girls anymore. At first I thought they were funny but their stalking is down right ridiculous and their mightier-than-thou attitudes make it impossible to wade through the snark for actual answers. They apparently thrive on misery and stupidity and I won’t be the one to provide them their nectar. Call me a wuss-or more BOTB appropriate-a douche-but I prefer to talk to my own self than have to listen to their pointless remarks and snide attitudes.

So if I wanna POAS at 7dpo, I will god damnit and I don’t care!

I am a rebel without a cause.